FACEBOOK ETIQUETTE FOR BABY BOOMERS

One of my daughter’s friends recently posted an article that listed the 10 commandments for using Facebook. It included things like not posting embarrassing photos, avoiding self-promotion, proposing to or dumping anyone, and other great advice for the legions of twenty and thirty somethings who flood the site. It prompted me to think about the increasing number of baby boomers like me who use Facebook and what our “Facebook etiquette” might be. Here is my list and I hope other boomers will comment and enhance:

1. Don’t “friend” your children’s “friends” unless you are expressly invited to do so. Just because they hung out at your house in junior high does not mean they are now your “friends.” This generational mix can sometimes backfire, embarrass your children and/or you, or result in postings that may make you uncomfortable. As my boomer sister says, “stay in your own lane,” with your own “friends” and your Facebook life will be fine.

2. Don’t fill your entire page with” Farmville”, “Farkle” or other Facebook game results. Make use of the “do not post to my wall” button as you play. Otherwise, it makes you look like you have nothing else to do, and quite frankly, it’s annoying.

3. Don’t send “friend” requests to people who are “friends of friends” unless you know them. Getting “friend” invitations from “friends of friends” is at best impolite and at worst, creepy. Also don’t hijack your “friends”, “friends “if you were never “real” friends to begin with. It's just not cool.

4. Don’t “unfriend” people to carry out personal wars on Facebook. Make sure that when you do it, it’s for a legitimate reason like disrespect, language, or subject matter you do not approve of. If the affront is serious enough or signifies a pattern of bad Facebook or non-Facebook behavior, it probably goes beyond this social site and should be taken care of off-line.

5. Don’t make the mistake that Facebook “culture” is the same for you as it is for the younger set. It isn’t. Certain subject matter that you may find offensive or unwise is perfectly ok with younger users. So don’t preach to them about what they write on Facebook. Do it in a private email if you feel you must and let the friend-chips fall where they may. You can avoid much of this if you follow rule #1.

6. Use moderation when you post pictures of your grandchildren. If you have to post photos of them using a separate program that requires a separate user name and password, you have probably gone too far. Also don’t post countless pictures of your dog, your cars, your yard, or your trip to the zoo with the grandchildren and the dog in the car. Be selective. Enough already.

7. Don’t use your high school picture as your profile picture. Everyone knows you don’t look like that anymore.

8. Don’t post long, meaningless, flowery soliloquies that you found in some Hallmark card that you are trying to make people think you wrote yourself. Believe me, people usually know you did the old cut and paste.

9. Don’t be upset if an old friend or coworker ignores your request to be their “friend.” Either they don’t remember you, don’t like you, or remembered that they don’t like you. Move on.

10. AND MOST OF ALL:

Do enjoy the social networking experience. Do use it to connect with your friends, old and new, and to share your life’s journey. Do provide them with comfort when they need it, and rally the cheers for them and their successes. Have fun with the experiences sites like Facebook can bring.

And no, I did not respond to my daughter’s friends’ posting. I just pushed the “like” button. Enough said.